Self-sabotaging the life you want has nothing to do with how badly you want it. That’s why I want to tell you something that took me a while to fully understand and honestly changed everything about how I approach going after new things in life.
You see personal development world has built an entire industry around your conscious mind and it is making a lot of money doing it. Think the right thoughts, do the morning routine, repeat the generic affirmations, and your life will change. And women are out here doing all of it, every single day, and still self-sabotaging the same patterns they’ve been trying to break for years.
But it really isn’t that you are self-sabatoging in the way you think but to under that that you have to understand how you experience life in the first place.
Your Conscious Mind Is Only 5% Of The Story
Your conscious mind, the one doing all better habit, sheer willpower work is responsible for about 5% of your daily experience. Just 5%. The other 95% is run entirely by your subconscious and it operates on autopilot based on what it already believes is true about you and what you’re allowed to have.
That doesn’t mean your subconscious is trying to purposefully derail you. It’s doing exactly what it was designed to do, keeping you safe, keeping things predictable, and protecting you from anything that is unfamiliar. The problem is that “safe and familiar” and “what you actually want” are often two very different places.
So while you’re putting forth all that effort with the 5%, your subconscious is running a belief system that was built years ago and hasn’t been touched since. That’s the gap. That’s why you keep feeling like self-sabotaging is showing up even when you keep freaking pushing yourself to the limits of your ‘best self era’ routines.
Self-Sabotaging Is Protection Not Failure
This is the part I really want you to hear before we go any further because the way self-sabotaging gets talked about online keeps women in a shame spiral they don’t deserve to be in.
When you get close to something you want and suddenly pull back, overspend, pick a fight, quit, or find seventeen reasons it won’t work, that the 95% doing its job. That’s not weakness or failure. That’s a protection response from a belief system that hasn’t been updated yet.
The self-sabotaging isn’t really what you are doing. Do you feel a bit more free now? You’re just staying in the familiar of what some belief says is safe. And that means there isn’t anything wrong with you.
Now, you may say, “well if I have a belief that is stopping me, doesn’t that mean there is in fact something wrong with me?!” No. Whatever beliefs you have served a purpose at one time or another. Just because they don’t serve you now doesn’t mean they are bad. It just means they have run their course.
Look, another way to think of this is, you bought an outfit two years ago and loved it. I mean you wore it soooo much. But it’s a bit faded now and kinda out of style. Nothing wrong with changing up the look and it surely doesn’t mean it was the wrong outfit way back when.
Why Working Only On The 5% Keeps You Exhausted
The majority of what is being taught online right now targets your conscious mind, the 5%…habits, self-care Sunday resets, positive thinking. And look, none of those things are inherently bad but they’re all knocking on the front door while your subconscious is around back running everything.Here’s what actually gets sold as mindset work and why it keeps you running in circles
The Real Cost Of This
When you’re only working with 5% of your brain, you have to work constantly to maintain any kind of momentum. The second you stop thinking positively, stop doing the routine – the old patterns rush right back in. It takes more effort, more discipline, more willpower, and still produces inconsistent results because the 95% never got the memo.
That’s why it feels like you’re always starting over. You get motivation in waves, have some kickass breakthrough one week and then completely fall apart the next.
And that costs not only your effort but it costs you confidence, hope, and ultimately your dreams.
What It Actually Looks Like To Work With The 95%
Working with your subconscious means going into the belief system itself. Finding the specific belief that’s standing between you and what you want. And then doing the intentional work of rewriting it into something you accept and build on.
And I can already see the wheels in your head turning. I’m not talking about some long, drawn out healing era style thing. No, no, no. I am talking about awareness and forward movement.
Cuz when you do that, you’re not white knuckling your way trying to get what you want. You naturally moving toward what you want because your subsonscious genuinely believes it’s possible and safe. Decisions that used to feel terrifying start feeling obvious. Opportunities you would have talked yourself out of start feeling like the logical next step.
That’s what it feels like when the 95% is working with you instead of against you. And that doesn’t require a stack of tools and a two hour morning routine. It requires going deep on the one thing that actually matters, the belief.
Moving Beyond ‘Self-Sabotaging’ Into Your Dream Life
I’m not gonna make you try to figure out how to do belief work all on your own. I’m all about helping women get what they want and where they are trying to go the fastest. I mean, I’m a super GIRL POWER chica so I put everything you need Inside the Vision Lab,
The Vision Lab is all about changing the 95% so you can have what you want without the rollercoaster of get it/lose it. Not to mention once you have your beliefs on board the stuff you want come automatically because you are easily experiencing what you believe.
So if you’re done exhausting yourself with surface level mindset work and ready to actually change the belief underneath, then run don’t walk to the Vision Lab.
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